How We Relate to Stuff
is about: patterns, habits, emotional anchors, nervous system responses, attachment styles, and coping behaviours
The ways objects comfort us, frustrate us, steady us, or barely register and why it all makes sense
People relate to things differently.
Some attach meaning.
Some use them purely for function.
Some feel overwhelmed by stuff.
Some barely notice it.
Some keep things close.
Some let things go easily.
Some use objects to feel safer, calmer, or more prepared.
Some don’t feel anything toward things at all.
Our relationship with stuff is shaped by who we are, what we’ve lived, what we need, and the season we’re in.
Below are the everyday ways people relate to objects, without judgement, diagnosis, or assumptions.
Some objects help soothe the nervous system.
A texture, a photo, a warm jumper, a familiar cup, small anchors that help the body settle.
Examples:
• Kim keeps soft blankets because they calm her.
• Toni keeps sentimental items nearby because they feel grounding.
• Ana holds onto certain objects during stressful chapters.
Comfort isn’t childish it’s human.
⭐ 1. Comfort Items
⭐ 2. Practical, Logical, Functional
Some people relate to stuff as tools.
No emotion, no story, no attachment — just function.
Examples:
• Nik keeps only what he uses.
• Shanice doesn’t think twice about objects — they’re just things.
• Eddy stores tools where he needs them because it makes sense.
For some, a chair is just a chair.
A lamp is just a lamp.
And that’s valid.
⭐ 3. “Just in Case” Thinking
Some people keep backups because it reduces worry, increases safety, or supports planning for the unexpected.
Examples:
• Kim keeps extras because it helps her feel prepared.
• Karen holds onto things she might finish someday.
• Ana stores duplicates because uncertainty feels easier when she has options.
Preparation is not clutter, it’s a coping strategy.
⭐ 4. Emotional Anchors
Some belongings hold connection — to people, places, or chapters.
Examples:
• Toni treasures anything tied to family history.
• Karen holds onto projects because they represent parts of herself.
• Mia keeps reminders of loved ones close.
This isn’t “sentimental clutter.”
This is belonging.
⭐ 5. Avoidance & Pausing
Some objects feel hard to face, not because they’re bad — but because they hold emotion, pressure, or decisions.
Examples:
• Ana keeps certain boxes closed until she feels ready.
• Karen stores unfinished tasks out of sight when she’s overwhelmed.
• Tom (from earlier pages) avoids old letters because they stir things.
Avoidance isn’t laziness, it’s protection.
⭐ 6. Creative Spread
Some brains think in layers, piles, and clusters.
Ideas expand physically.
Tools need to be visible to exist.
Order comes after creation, not before.
Examples:
• Eddy spreads tools around because he works better seeing everything.
• Mia leaves creative items out so she can return to them.
• Sam (earlier page) explodes with colour when inspired.
This is not mess, it’s process.
⭐ 7. Identity Expression
Some people use objects to express personality, culture, or values.
Examples:
• Shanice displays art from her community.
• Toni keeps heritage items in sight.
• Sam fills his studio with creative markers of who he is.
Identity shows up differently for everyone.
⭐ 8. Security and Control
Objects can create a sense of stability especially in uncertainty.
Examples:
• Kim keeps extras because they help her feel safe.
• Ana organises her space when life feels chaotic.
• Karen holds onto items that give her a sense of continuity.
Security isn’t about the object, it’s about how the object supports someone’s inner world.
⭐ 9. Indifference
Some people feel nothing toward belongings, positive or negative.
Examples:
• Shanice doesn’t mind if things disappear or reappear.
• Nik replaces things when needed but doesn’t attach to them.
• Eddy keeps what works, nothing more.
Neutrality is a relationship too.
⭐ 10. Mixed Relationships
Most people experience a blend:
a little comfort,
a little practicality,
a little emotion,
a little avoidance,
a little indifference.
No one fits one box.
And no pattern is better or worse — just human.
Think of your relationship with stuff like a conversation.
Sometimes it’s loud, sometimes quiet.
Sometimes it’s comforting, sometimes annoying.
Sometimes it’s distant, sometimes close.
Sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes practical.
Sometimes it’s nothing at all.
There is no right way to relate to things.
Only the way that makes sense for you, today.