Supports
What Does Support Mean to You?”
Information:
Support = anything outside yourself that helps you carry the load.
It can be
people,
systems,
routines,
objects
anything that actually makes life easier.
Not all supports feel safe
some feel pushy, others feel steady.
You get to decide which ones are worth letting in.
“For a long time, Kelly thought support meant someone barging in and throwing things away. That felt like betrayal, not help. Later she discovered support could mean something different — a neighbour who checked in, a worker who listened, or even a small routine that gave her day some shape. Support isn’t always big or dramatic. Sometimes it’s simple, steady, and chosen by you.”
When you hear the word support, what comes to mind for you — people, routines, or things?
True vs False supports
True Supports:
True supports actually hold you up .they don’t just feel safe, they keep you safe and moving.
They reduce harm
A clear path to the door means fewer falls.
A safe chair to rest on means your body can recover.
They stick around
A respectful worker who visits weekly, a peer group that meets regularly.
Real supports don’t vanish when it gets hard — they walk through setbacks with you.
They respect your choice
They ask before acting, they listen first.
Support adds options, not ultimatums.
They connect you to people
A trusted friend, a counsellor, or a peer who understands.
True supports break isolation instead of building walls around you.
They build strength, not dependency
They help you find routines, coping tools, and confidence.
Over time, you feel more capable — not more trapped.
They prepare you for the future
True supports reduce the chance of relapse, eviction, or crisis.
They leave you with skills, safety, and dignity intact.
False Supports:
False supports are the ones that look like they’re helping, but in reality, they keep you stuck.
They feel safe but hide risk
Piles feel protective, but increase fire hazards, block exits, and make falls more likely.
Comfort is short-term, danger is long-term.
They keep you isolated
Stuff becomes your company, but it pushes people away.
The more you rely on piles, the fewer human connections you maintain.
They demand all-or-nothing
Clutter doesn’t compromise — it keeps growing until it takes over.
False supports drain energy and space, without ever giving back balance.
They protect feelings, not your life
Objects shield you from shame or loneliness, but can’t help in crisis.
A pile won’t call an ambulance or listen to your pain.
They create the illusion of control
Keeping everything feels powerful — but in truth, the stuff is in charge.
The “support” is really a trap.
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Different Kinds of Supports
In the realm of self-care and personal well-being, various types of supports play crucial roles in fostering resilience, growth, and balance. Understanding these supports can help individuals craft a tailored approach to nurturing their mental, emotional, and physical health.
1. Emotional Support
This form includes empathy, understanding, encouragement, and reassurance from friends, family, or professionals. It helps individuals feel valued and understood, reducing feelings of isolation.
2. Informational Support
Providing guidance, advice, or knowledge to help someone make informed decisions. This can come from healthcare providers, mentors, or educational resources.
3. Instrumental Support
Practical assistance such as financial aid, help with daily tasks, or providing necessary resources. This kind of support alleviates burdens that might otherwise hinder recovery or growth.
4. Social Support
Engagement within a community or network that offers a sense of belonging and shared identity. Participation in social groups, clubs, or support groups can foster connection and purpose.
5. Professional Support
Services offered by counselors, therapists, coaches, or medical professionals who provide expert guidance and treatment tailored to individual needs.
Cultivating a balance among these supports enriches a self-care strategy, enabling a comprehensive approach to well-being. Recognizing and seeking the appropriate kind of support at the right moment can be transformative in personal development and health maintenance.
Who really has my back?
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family, friends, counsellors, peers.
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NDIS, housing, aged care, councils.
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schedules, reminders, harm-reduction steps.
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one clear chair, a working fridge
Story trauma-informed
"For years, Daniel thought no one had his back but his piles. They were always there, silent, steady, never walking away. But when he slipped on a stack of magazines and ended up in hospital, the piles didn’t visit, didn’t bring food, didn’t care. It was his neighbour who checked on him every day while he healed. That’s when he realised — real support shows up when you can’t stand on your own.”
Info (plain + simple)
Support = anything that helps you carry the load of life.
Four main kinds of support:
People – family, friends, counsellors, peers.
Systems – NDIS, aged care, housing, health.
Routines & tools – calendars, reminders, habits.
Objects that actually help – a working fridge, a clear chair, safe pathways.
True supports: respect your choices, reduce harm, stick around.
False supports: feel safe but keep you isolated, drain energy, or increase risk.
Activity / Reflection
Support Map Exercise
Draw a circle in the middle with your name.
Around it, write down all the people, systems, routines, and objects you think “support” you.
Next to each one, ask yourself:
Does this really hold me up?
Or does it just feel safe while pulling me down?
Optional: Place each support on a 0–10 scale →
Harms Me ↔ Helps Me.
Takeaway: hard but hopeful truth
“If your piles are the only thing you trust to have your back, then you’re carrying the load alone. Real supports may feel harder to let in — but they’re the ones that keep you standing when life knocks you down.”
Do I Need Help, or Can I Do This Alone?
Navigating personal challenges often prompts a crucial question: Do I need help, or can I do this alone? This reflection is a vital step toward self-awareness and effective self-care.
Recognizing When to Seek Support
Persistent Struggles: If obstacles continue to interfere with your daily functioning despite your best efforts, it may be time to consider external support.
Emotional Overwhelm: When feelings of stress, anxiety, or sadness become unmanageable, professional guidance can offer coping strategies and relief.
Lack of Progress: Spending considerable time trying to resolve an issue without success suggests that fresh perspectives might be beneficial.
Isolation: Struggling in solitude can compound difficulties—support networks provide encouragement and understanding that foster healing.
Valuing Self-Reliance
Building Resilience: Tackling challenges independently strengthens confidence and problem-solving skills.
Personal Growth: Overcoming adversity alone can lead to profound insights and empowerment.
Appropriate Boundaries: Recognizing your limits and knowing when to pause helps maintain balance.
Striking the Balance
The choice to seek help does not diminish your strength; rather, it reflects wisdom and commitment to your well-being. Embrace a nuanced approach—cherish your capacity for self-management while remaining open to guidance when necessary. This balanced perspective ensures you are neither overwhelmed by solitary struggle nor overly dependent, cultivating a sustainable path toward health and fulfillment.
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Hoarding disorder rarely improves without external support (Steketee & Frost, 2007).
Carrying the load alone is exhausting; supports spread the weight.
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help should add options, not take away control.
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“I’ve managed this long on my own.” → but usually the cost is hidden (isolation, health risks, constant stress)
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You can make small changes yourself, but lasting change usually needs others.
Story trauma-informed
"Lena always said, ‘I can manage on my own.’ For years she pushed people away, convinced asking for help meant weakness. But every night she lay awake, exhausted from carrying the weight alone. When she finally let her daughter come once a week just to share a meal, she realised — support didn’t mean losing control. It meant she wasn’t alone in the fight anymore.”
Info
Many people with hoarding believe: “I’ve managed this long, I don’t need help.”
Research is blunt: hoarding disorder rarely improves without external support (Steketee & Frost, 2007).
Carrying the load alone = draining, isolating, and risky.
Supports don’t replace you — they add options and lighten the weight.
Help doesn’t mean surrender → it means shared strength.
Activity / Reflection
Balancing Act Exercise
On one side of a page, write: “What I can do alone.”
On the other side, write: “What feels too heavy without help.”
Reflect: Which tasks drain me most? Where could one safe support make the difference?
Takeaway; hard but hopeful truth
“Yes, you can keep going alone — but the cost is high, and relapse is almost certain. Accepting support isn’t giving up control. It’s choosing not to collapse under the weight.”
Can I Trust People More Than Things?
Trust is a fundamental aspect of human experience, shaping how we relate to both the world around us and the individuals within it. When considering whether to trust people more than things, it's important to explore the nature of trust in both contexts.
Trusting People
People are complex, capable of empathy, reasoning, and adaptation. Trusting others often involves intangible qualities such as honesty, integrity, and reliability. Although people can disappoint or betray, they also offer support, understanding, and collaboration. Building trust with others requires time, communication, and mutual respect. It is dynamic and evolves with shared experiences.
Trusting Things
Things—whether objects, technologies, or systems—are predictable and consistent within their designed parameters. For instance, a well-maintained car or a reputable digital security system can be relied upon to perform specific functions. However, things lack emotion and moral judgement; their trustworthiness depends entirely on their creators and maintainers. While often dependable, things can malfunction or become obsolete.
Balancing Trust
Choosing to trust people more than things—or vice versa—is not a binary decision but a balance. People bring context, ethics, and care, while things offer consistency and precision. Cultivating discernment helps in understanding when it’s appropriate to rely on human judgment and when to depend on tools or systems.
In essence, fostering meaningful relationships and maintaining reliable tools together create a holistic foundation for trust that enhances well-being and self-care.
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Objects don’t argue, leave, or judge.
People in the past may have pushed, shamed, or betrayed.
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piles don’t call an ambulance, piles can’t comfort you in grief.
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start with one non-judgemental person, set boundaries
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(others with hoarding experience) often feel safer than family
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Trusting only things keeps you stuck. Learning to trust the right people sets you free.
Story trauma-informed
"After a forced clean-out, Mark swore he’d never trust people again. His things felt safer: they didn’t argue, didn’t shame, didn’t leave. But when he collapsed one night, the piles stayed silent. It was his neighbour who called the ambulance and sat with him in hospital. That’s when Mark realised — objects can comfort, but only people can care.”
Info:
Why things feel safer than people:
Objects never betray, abandon, or criticise.
They give the illusion of safety and control.
The limits of trusting things:
Piles can’t respond in crisis.
They block safety, drain energy, and keep you isolated.
Why trusting people matters:
People bring connection, accountability, and real support when you need it most.
One safe, respectful ally is more powerful than years of “comfort” from clutter.
Practice shows: peer supports (others with lived experience) often feel safer than family; professionals who respect pace and consent can rebuild trust.
Activity / Reflection
Trust Circle Exercise
Draw a circle. Inside it, write down who or what you trust most right now (could be “my books,” “my dog,” “my friend”).
Ask: Does this trust give back when I need it, or is it one-sided?
Add one person, service, or routine you might be willing to test your trust with — even in a small way.
Takeaway (hard but hopeful truth)
“Things don’t betray you, but they don’t save you either. Trusting the right person may feel risky — but it’s the kind of risk that gives you back life.”
When Anita’s council ordered a clean-out, a team came in with trucks and bags. In two days her house was empty — and so was she. The silence felt like loss, not relief. Within six months, the piles were back, higher than before.
Later, a support worker named Jo started visiting once a week. Jo didn’t touch a thing at first. She listened, asked questions, and helped Anita clear just one small space, a path to her chair.
It took months, but Anita didn’t relapse. Why? Because she wasn’t alone any-more.
Research says: forced clean-outs often end in relapse and crisis. But lived experience proves: one safe, respectful ally can do more for recovery than a truckload of strangers.